Week 5

What a week! I am learning through this journey much about teaching, teachers, students, and myself during the week.

Teaching - Writing up creative lesson plans in the real elementary school setting is very different from what I did during the methods course. I've been in charge of Spelling for the past three weeks and Math this week. I tried to incorporate technology and hands-on activities. However, it was very hard to articulate all the steps in the lesson plan and even harder to excute in the classroom. Some feedbacks from my cooperating teacher... 1) can't believe that I don't know how to write a lesson plan coming into student teaching, 2) that Trinity didn't prepare me well in writing a solid lesson plan, 3) I am not meeting her expectations of where a student teacher should be after 4 weeks of observation, etc. etc. etc. Slowly, I am changing my lesson planning, classroom teaching, and classroom management styles to be more like my cooperating teacher.

Teachers - Dr. Matthias is correct in telling us that there are different styles of teachers and of classroom management. My cooperating teacher has her style (Ruler/Designer and APC, respectively) and I am learning to work with that. She is very effective in getting results (student learning and student management). She sets very high expectations of her students (academically and discipline), and most students meet them. For example, our 4th grade students learned to multiply 2-digit by 1-digit, 3-digit by 1-digit, and 4-digit by 1-digit in one week. Next week, I am expected to teach 2-digit by 2-digit and multi-digit by 2-digit. Other 4th grade classrooms are still learning to do 1-digit by 1-digit...

Students - I love them all~ I don't know how the teachers can handle saying goodbye to these wonderful people at the end of the year. I think about them even at home. I've been watching closely at 4-5 students (1 because she lacks self-confidence with school work, 1 because he's the only African-American student in class and who thinks I'm his buddy, 1 because she goes to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes, 1 because he gets physically ill when he gets frustrated, and 1 because he's good at all subjects except Math. Everyday, I learn something new about each student (eg. can't see the board but refuses to get glasses, has problem spelling because maybe dyslexic, thinks can't do well in school but is very smart and creative, etc). I know that even though my relationship with my cooperating teacher isn't ideal, she has given me an opportunity to work with these amazing students.

Myself - I am determined to finish student teaching and become a successful teacher. I cry alot after some harsh feedbacks from my cooperating teacher, but I laugh alot because of the students. My mantra - tomorrow is another day. I wanted to learn alot about teaching and myself, and I am getting that everyday. Throughout my lifetime, I have done many various things, have met different people, and traveled different places. Whenever I encountered anything that causes negative energy within me, I ran away. I didn't think there was anything that was worth living with negative energy. I am proud to say that there is something that is worth being steadfast and patient. I really want to be a teacher. I am willing to learn from anything/anyone to become a great teacher. I have never been so determined to finish something that I started. NEVER! Tomorrow will be another day, and it will take me one day closer to my calling.

Week Four

It's only the end of three weeks into the school year, and I have seen real learning in students' social and academic behaviors. The students have learned and internalized the classroom routine which makes learning easier for everyone. Maybe that's why so much energy was spent the first two weeks on classroom management and teacher's expectation.My husband started teaching at a community college this semester. He found that when he lost control of his classroom (like disruptions), his students didn't learn effectively - no matter how well prepared his lessons were. He understands the importance of setting clear and consistent expectations early on. Otherwise, he spends a lot of learning time trying to manage the class. That's not an effective use of class time.My cooperating teacher said that if I lose control of the class, then I lose learning. Classroom management, therefore, is essential to learning.>>>>

What else did I do this week?
Well, I was involved in the schools AIMSweb benchmark testing. In two days, we tested all the students K-5 in their reading fluency. It was really fun sitting down with students to perform the test. It was also interesting watching the different levels of fluency level for students.

I also bombed my spelling lessons this week. I tried to be creative with my lessons by integrating technology and diverse instructional methods. Creativity is good if I can stay focused. But, I lost focus and the learning opportunity. I now understand my cooperating teacher's advice about making things "simple" in the beginning. Because I don't have the experience in content delivery and classroom management, I should make my lessons simple. After I am comfortable and more confident, I can try to be more creative. Bombing this week's spelling lessons was a great learning experience! You know what? I felt really good about the experience.

Parker Palmer's Courage to Teach

Chapter 3 – A Hidden Wholeness: Paradox in Teaching and Learning

I found comfort during my engagement with this chapter. It has allowed me to search for my hidden wholeness in my identity and integrity.

As I think about teaching and as I communicate with my students, I did experience some paradoxes. Even before Trinity, I have had many opportunities to be in front of learners and teach specific contents. Outwardly, I looked confident about the contents and being in front of the learners. However, I was terrified inside. I wasn’t sure if my strategy was working for all learners. I wasn’t sure if my background knowledge was sufficient to deliver the contents. For even the simplest contents, I spent hours preparing for the class. My family didn’t understand why I took such time and effort in teaching basic skills. They didn’t understand that inwardly I was suffering. I was suffering because I took big responsibility for the content learning.

During student teaching, I reflected on the first paradox written by Palmer. 1 – “The space should be bounded and open.” How can I create a learning space that is focused and disciplined but also that allows creativity and diversity? The balance between the two (discipline and creativity) is the art of teaching. I will take heart what Palmer says on p. 77, “Space without boundaries is not space, it is a chaotic void, and in such a place no learning is likely to occur.” We want the learners to go from point A to point B. We want to create the learning space to be focused on that task. However, we also want the learners to be free to ask questions and seek opportunities to explore various means to go from points A and B. By collaborating with the teacher, other learners, and themselves, learners should accomplish the task in their unique ways.

The “conflicting” relationship between my cooperating teacher and me may be best described through this paradox. I think she and I, together, may create a hidden wholeness. My teacher is effective in creating a classroom that is structured. She prepares and teaches one efficient method for all the learners to follow. She knows that the majority of the class will benefit most effectively through her structured instruction. In the current age of high stakes testing and results, I can see why her method may be praise-worthy. Conversely, I like to create a space where multiple methods are introduced. I don’t know which one of the methods may help those struggling students (the minority of the class). By collaborating with their peers, maybe they will discover a method that I haven’t even thought of. For example, I learned a new multiplication method from one of students. It’s called Lattice Multiplication. He taught this method to another struggling student who found it helpful. I was really excited about learned something new while teaching a skill!

I don’t think structured (bounded space) and unstructured (open space) teaching styles should be viewed as opposites. They should not be divided or pitted against each other. Like Yin and Yen in Chinese philosophy, they can work together harmoniously. There is a symbol of yin and yen (combination of blue sky and red land) in the Korean flag. It symbolizes how heaven and earth (seemingly opposite tensions) work to create a great nation. Similarly, I agree with Palmer in his assertion that tension is good, that paradox is good, that opposites are good, and that struggle is good. For example, teaching and learning can be seen as opposites. Science and art can be seen as opposites. I have personally experienced during student teaching that they are not opposites but are partners that make education great. Initially, the tension of opposites creates uncomfortable feeling. Then, it can create competition. Afterwards, a long suffering occurs. It may be bearable and may be unbearable. Finally, a resolution occurs – embrace the difference or reject it.

I can humbly say that I have personally embraced a tension that occurred during student teaching. I have suffered, but I have accepted what it has revealed to me – I still have much to learn about the skills of teaching. I will patiently wait and learn. Experience will be my teacher.

갈등 잦은 Week Three

Personality Styles and Classroom Management


The first two weeks of student teaching for me were interesting. It was a time of observation and reflection. It forced me to be a reflective practitioner...Through the pre-clinical observation activities and through the interactions with the students, cooperating teacher, and myself, I exhaustingly looked at the external and internal environments I was plunging into. I was scared of the unexpected. I was excited about finally being in the classroom. I was exhausted from all the assignments from TIU and lack of sleep. I was happy to be around loving children. I was unhappy to be away from my own family. So on and so forth. The inner landscape and the outer landscape that Palmer refer to in his book hit right at me. Why? I guess he was articulating something I couldn't explain about my life. I have spent all my life exploring my inner landscape with no avail. I feel like new experiences (situation, relationships) cause me to look at my identity as if for the first time. That part is easy. The hard part is if I'm living with integrity. Am I carrying out and being true to who I think I am? I find myself in conflict sometimes because the picture I have of my inner landscape gets shaken up as the outer landscape changes. My foundation is not strong enough to withstand the storms. Student Teaching. Here's a new situation with new relationships. I felt so vulnerable as I try to negotiate my identity and expose myself to me, to my cooperating teacher, to the students, and to TIU. Throughout the MAT courses and field experiences, I've painted a picture of who I am and how I will be in my classrooms. I've had positive experiences during our field observations that convinced me that I can be an effective teacher. However, I'm not as confident.I have so many strengths, but I have as many weaknesses. I must learn to be steadfast (mature), articulate, and persistant. These strong qualities can be found in my cooperating teacher. Because she has these qualities that I lack, I respect her and I'm uncomfortable around her. I get intimidated sometimes. I guess it's the fear of "otherness". I've got to pass beyond that. I've got to grow to embrace my strengths and my weaknesses. I've got to openly accept my cooperating teacher's assets and learn from them. Then, I will truly become an effective teacher. I know that in my head. I hope my heart (inner landscape) will embrace that. I hope my actions will support that. I want to live a life with integrity.

학생들과의 첫주: Week Two

It has been an exhausting week for me.